Articles from the members

Category
  General Knowledge   தமிழ் மொழி   Career Counselling
  Technology   Power of Creator   Religious
  Moral Story   Medical   Kids
  Sports   Quran & Science   Politics
  Poetry   Funny / Jokes   Video
  Golden Old Days - ம‌ல‌ரும் நினைவுக‌ள்   Others   சுய தொழில்கள்
  Stars of Eruvadi
 
Sardarji Jokes 3
Posted By:peer On 3/22/2006

"Order! Order!"

Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of drunken driving. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order! Order!" Santa responded immediately, "Thank you , your honour! I'll have a scotch and soda."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Obituary

Santa and Banta were very good friends. Unfortunately Banta dies and Santa in extreme grief goes to a newspaper office to release a obituary in his name.

Santa ends up writing almost a biography of his friend. The clerk at the counter informs him that it would cost him a lot of dollars and therefore he should make it short. Santa edits the content and reduces the size to only twenty words.

This, again, is turned down by the clerk. Santa in extreme confusion reduces it to just two words--"BANTA DEAD". This was too precise and short for the clerk to accept. In rage, Santa adds another three--"BANTA DEAD. MARUTI FOR SALE". And the obituary is accepted this time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pub

Two Sardarjis went into a pub and after ordering  two beers took some sandwiches out of their  packets and started to eat them. 'You can't eat  your own sandwiches in here,' complained the  pub-owner. So the two sardars swapped their  sandwiches.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patriotism

Sardar jokes......... A number of Indians were discussing who the most Patriotic Indian citizen was. Some said they always saluted the National flag wherever were and hence were the most patriotic. Others said that whenever they heard the national anthem being sung, howsoever faintly, they immediately stood at attention. Likewise everyone was boasting about how patriotic he/she was. A Sardarji from Punjab was keeping mum while the discussion happened. Everybody asked him why he was so quiet. Some even  remarked that the Sardarji was not a true patriot and hence had nothing to say. Hearing this the Sardarji immediately flew into a rage. "I have kept quiet till now only because I was felt like crying on hearing your foolish talk about patriotism. How does it benefit the Nation if you salute the Flag or do stand at attention on hearing the national anthem? A true patriot should be like me. 365 days, 24 hours my radio set is tuned to Pakistan  Radio at full volume". "But how is that a patriotic act?" someone asked. The Sardarji said, "Arrey you don't understand. If nothing else we can at least harm the Pakistanis by consuming as much of their electricity as possible".

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Surd with his new Maruti

Surd with his new Maruti Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening, and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his disrtraut mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?" The sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Mrutti wale pagal ho gaye nain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaae nain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar wins a lottery

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams
out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SARDAR THIEF

Santa Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! "When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and reported the matter. "What did you do to the thief"? "I tied his hands; you come and collect him". "I hope you tied his legs too". Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said, "Inspector Sab, the thief, he will still be there". "How do you know"? "Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji".

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar woken up

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the trainhas taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else". 

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SPARE BOMB

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with  the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the  parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a  suitcase in the front seat of their car and set  off. Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs  blast off now". Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I  have a spare bomb in the back seat" 

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?" "You can have both of them." "OK, Five?"

Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a  man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling  "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but  why are you jumping up and down on this manhole  cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?" The man says,  "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really  want to know, I can let you go under there and  find out. He thinks for a moment, then his
curiosity gets the better of him, and he says,  Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps  into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole  cover back and starts jumping up and down on it  yelling "87, 87, 87"...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Surd freedom fighters

Surd Freedom Fighters Once there was a meeting of  all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning  for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,  "Oh.. we'll get Punjab from India but how would  we develop it?" That was a difficult question  indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No  problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us  and then we would be a state of USA and we'll  automatically get developed." All the surds  became happy on this very simple solution but an  old surd did not utter a single word. Someone  asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied,  "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT..WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY  CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SARDAR'S BMW

BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier.  Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was  driving back to home very happily. On the way the  car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and  opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar  Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search  something inside the bonnet, and asked him what  was the matter. Hari Singh: "The BMW people made  me fool. They have given me the Car without the  engine." Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare  engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa being watched


Jasmeet caught her husband Santa searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"

Santa: "Hidden cameras!"

Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"

Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star News channel'. How does he know that?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa plays golf

Once Santa's drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything, but the golf ball moved. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.

Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"

Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."




General Knowledge
Date Title Posted By
The view points and opinion solely those of the author or source. nellaiEruvadi.com is not responsible for the posted contents..