Articles from the members

Category
  General Knowledge   தமிழ் மொழி   Career Counselling
  Technology   Power of Creator   Religious
  Moral Story   Medical   Kids
  Sports   Quran & Science   Politics
  Poetry   Funny / Jokes   Video
  Golden Old Days - ம‌ல‌ரும் நினைவுக‌ள்   Others   சுய தொழில்கள்
  Stars of Eruvadi
 
Ten commandments of sucess
Posted By:ahamedwing On 3/19/2005

Ten Commandments for True Success

 

True success is comparing what you have achieved to what you are capable of
achieving .... 10 commandments for "working hard":

 

1. Never walk without a document in your hands; People with documents in
their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.
People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the
cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading
for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you
at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours
than you do.

 

2. Use computers to look busy Any time you use a computer; it looks like
"work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail,
chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to
work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the
computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either.
When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best
defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus
saving valuable training dollars.

 

3. Messy desk: Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest
of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of
documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the
same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If
you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need
halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

 

4. Voice Mail: Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't
call you just  because they want to give you something for nothing - they
call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.
Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail
message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour
when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and
conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

 

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed; According to George Costanza, one should
also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the
impression that you are always busy.

 

6. Leave the office late; Always leave the office late, especially when the
boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you
always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure
you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at
unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

 

7. Creative Sighing for Effect; Sigh loudly when there are many people
around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

 

8. Stacking Strategy; It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the
table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the
best).

 

9. Build Vocabulary; Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the
jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with
bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure
sound impressive.

 

10. Most Important - Don't forward this to your boss by mistake !!!




Funny / Jokes
Date Title Posted By
The view points and opinion solely those of the author or source. nellaiEruvadi.com is not responsible for the posted contents..